hi everyone it is Sloane Rhodes I wanted to
talk to you today about treating others or feeling as though you’re being
treated as though you are a problem to be solved or treating another and so
they are a problem to be solved and this came up this week with a client and I
think it’s especially I propose we go into the holidays because we are either
thinking of family more or we are actually physically spending time with
family more and very often there’s at least one family member who we feel as
though they need our help they’re a problem it needs to be fixed
or they ask something of us and we see that as some failing on their part or
the reverse is true we are asking something of another and they see us as
a problem to be solved and it’s very difficult to treat another as though
they are problem to be solved and for that person to feel as though they are a
blessing to you or a gift upon the planet earth if they are feeling all
that judgment from you and the same goes for you it was very difficult if someone
is looking at you and thinking oh that person needs to be solved they are a
problem they are a big problem to me they need too much for me they want too
much for me and if they if you are feeling that way you’re not gonna feel
as though you are a blessing to that person or that you are a gift on the
planet Earth as we all are you know we’re all here for reason right
we’re all here and it brings something of value we already are of value just by
our very existence and the ways that we choose to emanate that out is a gift to
the earth and whatever form that takes so I wanted to bring this up because I
wanted to bring some awareness to it the difference how different it feels to
feel it so you are a problem to somebody or you are a blessing to somebody
because if someone is treating you as though you are a problem to be solved it
makes it almost impossible for you to see the other person as a blessing right
suddenly it’s this problem upon problem problems problems problems you know and
so if you can begin to play with us a bit more if you find that someone is
treating you as a you are a problem or you ask for something that you have
needs sometimes in families there’s an unspoken contract sometimes it’s spoken
that if you have needs you are somehow meant to feel guilty or ashamed of
having needs and sometimes you just need a little help and your family members
judge you it’s not being capable whatever their judgments may be but
truly they are in judgment of themselves you know in a deeper level but let’s
just go back to this idea that you are feeling it so you are being treated as a
problem begin to shift your focus a little bit on how you see the other
person because invariably when someone sees you as a problem you in turn have a
problematic relationship with that person so they are becoming a problem as
well so see if you can shift it – am I open to seeing this other individual as
a blessing to me teaching me lessons helping me hold more sense of honor and
love and respect for myself no matter what they show me you know it’s it’s not
easy I’m not saying this is something easy but it’s something to bring into
your awareness so how did you bring into your awareness you can begin to work
with it and heal it and play with it more it just becomes lighter as opposed to
creating a dense kind of feeling around yourself and if you are looking at
someone else’s needs or just their existence as being a problem to you you
can ask yourself you know am I open to seeing where I might be holding us and
judgment about myself is there a place within myself where I am also
withholding love from myself where I am sitting in judgment and feeling that
there are alien problematic in some way again it’s not easy you know not saying
you have to do it in the moment of course in the moment you do the best you
can to get through circumstances and situations and interactions with others
that are difficult try not to get triggered you know or maybe you do get
triggered but later you know when you’re in a more open reflective place you can
begin to ask these kinds of questions just by asking the question just being
open to the possibility but there is another way that feels more loving to
the heart that feels a little softer and more giving you begin to shift patterns
without trying so hard to shift patterns so it’s kind of a different way to
explore it and play with it then maybe you’re used to and it’s a very gentle
way many times we feel like we need to take a hammer in there and solve the
problem well you know sometimes that might work but usually everyone feels
pretty bruised with that kind of approach so anyway I hope that you find
this helpful on some level I can you know it’s yours to explore there’s no
right or wrong but it did come up this week so I thought I would just make a
short video and talk to you a little bit about it begin to introduce it into the
conversation you know rather than looking at people usually family or
friends as problems to be solved interactions or dynamics that need to be
solved you can begin to take a breath and recognize where you
can be a little bit more open even if you’re the one who’s being treated as a
year problem you can ask yourself well am i seeing them as a blessing or am I
seeing them as a problem how am I not necessarily perpetuating although the
destined to occur but how am I locked in to this dynamic to this dance where can
I take a step back and begin to create a new dance that feels lighter and less
sticky and brittle so anyway I hope that you find that helpful and I will see you
on the next video again all of my videos are available on the audio podcasts
there are links below so you can listen to them rather than just watching them
here on YouTube and if you’d like a private appointment or a video
appointment you can go to my website slow notes calm just love to all