– Wizard or not,
I’m here for one reason only: Oz killed my Toto,
and when I get to Emerald City, I’m gonna kill Oz. Oh! ♪ (exhilarating music) ♪ – Where’s my money,
you little Oompa Loompa asshole? – Please, Wicked Witch.
I have a family to feed. – What the [bleep]?
(blood squirting) – Holy [bleep]! Let
the joyous news be spread. The wicked old witch
at last is dead! – That’s right.
And I’m gonna kill again. Oh! Oh, and now
for the rest of ’em. (blade swishing) So how does a girl
get around in this place? – It’s easy! Just take the car
on the yellow brick road. (engine roaring)
– Ugh. – Yeah. I’m not
a cat person either. – (Dorothy) Ah, great.
Now which way do I go? – Well, that seems
like a nice way. – (Dorothy) Oh!
– But it’s pleasant down that way, too.
– (Dorothy) Hey, I know you. You’re the Scarecrow.
– Not anymore. – I’m on my way to Emerald City
to kill the Wizard, and I need you to tell me
where he is. – That bastard took my brain. When I retired, he gave me
an unforgettable farewell present: a full prefrontal cortex lobotomy. (Scarecrow screams)
Now I can’t even walk straight, and I’m depressed a lot.
Can I drive? A lot of people
want Oz dead. I got a couple of friends
that would love to join us. (squeaking)
– His image is still burned into my mind.
(poof) Honey? Oh no. Oh! Oh! No, that looks…
I’m going to get my ax. The Wizard took away my heart,
and I swore one day I would take his life. ♪ (ominous music) ♪ – So what did Oz do to you?
Cut your [bleep] off? – Kill your parents?
– No, no! I just hate that asshole.
Ain’t it the truth? Ain’t it the truth? (doorbell rings) – Who the [bleep] keeps
ringing the [bleep] doorbell? – (all) We did!
– Ah, ha-ha. – Well, what do you want? – Revenge!
– Vengeance! – Retribution.
– I don’t remember. – Okay, do you guys seriously think
I would let you in after saying that?
– (Dorothy grunts) – (man screams)
– Oh! – (man) Oh my–
You tore out my [bleep] eye, dude! – How will we open
the door now? Ah, ha-ha. – Yeah, I didn’t think this through. ♪ (exhilarating music) ♪
– What’s that noise? – That would be the sound
of 88 crazy flying monkeys. ♪ (rock music) ♪ (sword clanging)
(Dorothy grunting) – (monkey’s teeth chattering)
– (Dorothy) This is what you get when you mess around
with witches! Fly home to your mother!
– (monkey screeches) – Who killed my sister?
Ruby slippers. – Wicked Witch. (Dorothy cries out) – (man) If you had to guess
why she left you alive, what would be your guess? – I’m gonna ask you some questions, and every time
you don’t give me answers, I’m gonna pour this water
and melt something off. – I’ll tell you nothing! (water pouring)
(steam sizzling) – Ahh! I’m melting! – There’s no place like hom…icide. – (man) One more thing,
is she aware Toto is still alive? ♪ (melancholy music) ♪