FOLKS, WE’RE ALL VERY EXCITED. MY FIRST GUEST IS A COMEDIAN,
ACTOR, AUTHOR, AND BANJOIST. HE HAS BEEN HONORED WITH
GRAMMYS, AN EMMY, AND AN ACADEMY AWARD. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO “THE LATE
SHOW,” STEVE MARTIN! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: HOLD ON ONE
SECOND. WHAT’S– WHAT’S THE DEAL. WHAT’S GOING ON? ( BELL RINGING )
OH, SHOOT, SORRY. YEAH, I FORGOT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME “THE” STEVE MARTIN. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
>>THANK YOU!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ♪ ♪ ♪
>>Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: IT’S NOT ONLY NICE
TO SEE YOU AS, LIKE, A FAN AND AS A COLLEAGUE, BUT IT’S NICE TO
SEE YOU, BECAUSE YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.>>I KNOW. I KNOW. AND THAT’S WHAT WAS SO AMAZING. NO, I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. I WOKE UP ABOUT THREE DAYS AGO,
AND I LOOKED AT MYSELF, AND I SAID, “WHOA! I’M– I’M HAVING A MOMENT RIGHT
NOW; AND I NEED TO GO ON A TV SHOW.>>Stephen: SO PEOPLE CAN SEE
IT.>>YEAH, YEAH, SO PEOPLE CAN SEE
IT. IN TWO DAYS IT COULD BE JUST
UNH.>>Stephen: YOU AND THE GREAT
MARTY SHORT–>>YES.>>Stephen: DO A SHOW AROUND
THE COUNTRY. PEOPLE MIGHT NOT KNOW IT.( APPLAUSE )
NOW, DO I HAVE THIS CORRECTLY, YOU ARE ACTUALLY TAKING YOUR
SHOW TO THE U.K.?>>YES, WE ARE GOING TO DUBLIN,
GLASGOW, BELFAST, AND LONDON.>>Stephen: NOW, JUST– IS IT
A COINCIDENCE–>>BY THE WAY, THAT’S JUST
EXACTLY WHAT IRELAND NEEDS IS ANOTHER LEPRECHAUN. MARTY SHORT. IT’S JUST LIKE–
( LAUGHTER ).
>>Stephen: NOW, IS IT A
COINCIDENCE YOU’RE GOING OVER THERE, AND HARRY AND MEGHAN ARE
COMING TO DO NORTH AMERICA, AND NOW THERE’S AN OPEN SLOT IN THE
ROYAL FAMILY?>>YUP, YUP. WELL, THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN MEGHAN AND HARRY AND MARTY AND ME.>>Stephen: WHAT’S THAT?>>WE SHOW UP. AND DID YOU KNOW– BY THE WAY, I
FOUND THIS VERY TOUCHING. MEGHAN MARKLE, ON THE QUEEN’S
93rd BIRTHDAY, GAVE HER AN ENGRAVED BRACELET.>>Stephen: OH, THAT’S LOVELY. WHAT DID IT SAY?>>IT SAID, “DO NOT
RESUSCITATE.”( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: YOU’LL DO GREAT!>>YEAH.>>Stephen: YOU’LL DO GREAT! SO DO YOU– HOW DO YOU THINK YOU
WOULD DO AS A ROYAL?>>I THINK I PROBABLY HAVE ROYAL
BLOOD, AND IF THERE’S ROOM FOR ME OVER THERE, WHATEVER THEY
WANT, I’M THERE.>>Stephen: WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK YOU HAVE ROYAL BLOOD? HAVE YOU HAD YOUR GENEALOGY OR
ANYTHING DONE LIKE THAT?>>JUST BASED ON LOOKS AROUND. DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO– A PHOTO OF
THE QUEEN TO LOOK AT, JUST TO COMPARE.>>Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THIS
IS– NO, NO, WE HAVE IT RIGHT HERE.>>THAT’S TYEAH. YOU COULD SHOW THAT. YEAH.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YEAH. I SEE IT. IT’S NICE
( APPLAUSE )
SHE LOOKS– SHE LOOKS GOOD.>>FANTASTIC.>>Stephen: SHE LOOKS GOOD! SHE SHOULD GET ON TV.>>DO NOT RESUSCITATE THAT GUY,
EITHER.>>Stephen: MARTY?>>Y DON’T THINK– DO YOU HAVE A
PHOTO OF MARTY THERE?>>Stephen: I DO. IT’S A LITTLE LESS REGAL,
SLIGHTLY LESS. THERE YOU GO.( LAUGHTER )
NOW, THIS IS– IS THIS TRUE THAT I JUST HEARD THAT YOU AND THE
COWGIRL HERE ARE GOING TO DO A TV SHOW TOGETHER?>>WE ARE. FOR HULU.>>Stephen: OKAY. AND IT’S EITHER–
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>>Stephen: THAT’S TV.>>IT’S EITHER HULU OR HULA. WHICH ARE VERY DIFFERENT. WE’RE DOING ACTUALLY A FILMED
CRIME SHOW.>>Stephen: LIKE A PROCEDURAL?>>THE TITLE OF THE SHOW IS,
“ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING”– YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT THIS IS
TRUE. “ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING.” WE’RE TWO OLDER GUYS WHO LIVE
IN.>>Stephen:– A BUILDING.>>BUILDING, CO-OP I GUESS THEY
CALL IT. WE DISCOVER, EVEN THOUGH WE
DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER WE BOTH HAVE AN INTEREST IN TRUE CRIME
SHOWS. AND WE THOUGHT WE COULD SOLVE
OLD CRIME SHOWS AND WE REALIZED WE WERE OLDER AND TIRED SO WE
DECIDE WE’D ONLY DO MURDERS IN THE BUILDING.>>Stephen: I DON’T WANT YOU
TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY, I DON’T WANT YOU TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY,
BUT I ASSUME SOMEBODY IS MURDERED IN YOUR BUILDING?>>EXACTLY. YOU’RE A SMART GUY.>>Stephen: I’M IN TV. I’M IN TV. WHEN I CAN SEE IT THIS?>>WE DON’T START SHOOTING UNTIL
FIXTURE FALL.>>Stephen: I’LL BE DEAD.>>YOU’LL SEE IT IN THE SUMMER.>>Stephen: SPEAK OF BRITISH
ROYALTY.>>SURE.>>Stephen: WE ALL LOST
COMEDIC ROYALTY LAST WEEK WHEN THE GREAT TERRY JONES DIED FROM
MONTY PYTHON AND THE FLYING CIRCUS. DID YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS?>>I DID. I HAD SEVERAL OCCASIONS THROUGH
THE YEARS TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM. I CAME CLOSE FRIEND WITH ERIC
HIDELE AND JOHN CLOSE.>>Stephen: THAT’S
EXTRAORDINARY.>>I FIRST MET PEM THEM– WELL I
FIRST MET THEM IN 1980. THEY WERE DOING THE HOLLYWOOD
BOWL. AND I SAID I’VE NEVER MET THESE
GUYS AND I’D LIKE TO MEET THEM AND I INVITED THEM TO AN
AFTER-PARTY AT MY HOUSE.>>Stephen: AND THEY CAME?>>THEY ALL CAME. AND IT WAS SWEET AND IT WAS
NICE. I HAD A JACUZZI AND TERRY JONES
WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT IN BY HIMSELF AND HE WAS NAIK GLD I’VE
SEEN SEVERAL PHOTOS OF HIM NAKED. THAT WAS A THING. HE ENJOYED BEING NAKED.>>AND THEN THEY SENT ME A
WONDERFUL GIFT.>>AND ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT,
BECAUSE IT’S KIND OF A SPECIAL OBJECT.>>Stephen: THIS IS A REAL
THING. THIS IS NOT A BIT.>>IT’S A CERAMIC FOOPT AND THEY
ALL SIGNED IT. AND I’VE HAD IT ON MY LITTLE
SHELF –>>Stephen: THE NIGHT THAT
THEY VISITED?>>WHAT?>>Stephen: THEY SENT IT THE
NIGHT THEY VISITED.>>THEY SUBSEQUENTLY SENT IT
BECAUSE IT’S GLAZED. THAT’S YET SIGNATURES HAVEN’T
WORN OFF.>>Stephen: THERE’S TERRY
JONES, ERIC IDLE.>>IT WILL BE VERY SAD WHEN I
AUCTION THIS. BUT STILL–
( LAUGHTER ).
>>Stephen: LET ME BID. LET ME BID. IT’S GOING TO BE SAD WHEN I DROP
IT.>>I WORKED WITH THEM– DON’T
DROP THAT.>>Stephen: I WANT TO PUT IT
OVER HERE SO I DON’T. WHY DON’T YOU PUT IT OIFER THERE
ON THE SEAT NEXT TO YOU SO I’M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.>WHAT WAS
IT LOOK FOR SOMEBODY LIKE YOU WHO WAS– NOT THAT YOU’RE BIG
NOW. YOU WERE NEW AND HUGE AND HAD
REALLY CHANGED COMEDY, AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR YOU TO MEET A
COMEDIC HERO.>>NICE OF YOU TO SAY. FOR ME TO MEET THEM? I WAS THINKING THE OTHER WAY
AROUND.>>Stephen: YES. HOW DO YOU EXPRESS TO YOUR
COMEDIC HEROES, LIKE, WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU?>>WELL, IT’S VERY AWKWARD. IT’S LIKE ANYONE YOU MEET, WHEN
THEY’RE UP, YOU KNOW, YOU’RE JUST KIND OF NERVOUS AROUND
THEM.>>Stephen: SURE.>>AND YOU WANT TO IMPRESS THEM. AND I THOUGHT THEY’D HATE ME. MY COMEDY WAS VERY BROAD AND
VERY STUPID BECAUSE THAT WAS THE INTENT. AND THEIR COMEDY WAS VERY SUBTLE
AND SOPHISTICATED.>>Stephen: THAT’S A VERY
GENEROUS DESCRIPTION– A VERY GENEROUS DESCRIPTION OF “THE
MINISTRY OF FUNNY WALKS.” BUT IF YOU HAD ANY ADVICE FOR
SOMEBODY LIKE ME, IF I WERE TO EVER MEET A COMEDIC HERO– AND I
HAVEN’T YET– BUT IF I WERE TO MEET A COMEDIC HERO. ♪ ♪ ♪
>>PERFECT CHORD.>>Stephen: HOW WOULD I
EXPRESS THAT TO THIS COMEDIC HERO WITHOUT MAKING THEM FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLE?>>I WOULD SAY, “I RESPECT YOU
SO MUCH, AND I’VE FOLLOWED YOU MY WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU ALWAYS
MEANT A LOT TO ME.”>>Stephen: THANK YOU.>>YOU’RE WELCOME.>>Stephen: I DOLL THAT. I WILL DO EXACTLY THAT.>>YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT WANT TO
REHEARSE IT. GO AHEAD.>>Stephen: I CAN TRY THAT? I HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR WORK YOUR
ENTIRE–>>THANKS. ANYWAY, I GOT TO GO. OH, A CARD FELL. OH, THIS IS SO FUNNY. ANYWAY, GO AHEAD.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YOU KNOW, THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR A
COMMERCIAL BREAK. WHY DON’T WE TAKE A COMMERCIAL
BREAK, BUT DON’T YOU GO AWAY BECAUSE WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MORE MR. STEVE MARTIN.