♪ Timmy is an average kid that no one understands ♪ ♪ Mom and Dad and Vicky always giving him commands ♪>>Bed, twerp! ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪ ♪ Is broken instantly ♪ ♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪ ♪ ‘Cause in reality… ♪ ♪ They are his OddParents ♪ ♪ Fairly OddParents ♪>>Wands and wings!>>Floaty crown-y things. ♪ OddParents ♪ ♪ Fairly OddParents ♪ ♪ Really mod, pea pod ♪ ♪ Buff bod, hotrod ♪>>Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fry, chocolate shake! ♪ OddParents Fairly OddParents ♪ ♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪ ♪ With Fairly OddParents ♪>>Yeah, right! ♪>>Uh, why are we at Stately West Manor again?>>This guy– Adam West. He’s the vintage TV actor who played Catman in the vintage TV movie,Vintage Catman vs. TheDoberman of Doom,and I’m going to get his autograph! Will you please sign this photo?>>Of course, citizen. Cat Laser, Catarang– aha! The mighty Cat Pen! (Meowing) What’s your name, son?>>Vicky!>>That’s an odd name for a boy, but okay.>>Hi, Mr. West. I waxed your Catmobile, swept the Cat Cave, changed your cat litter and washed your Cat Cats for free. Bye!>>What the heck was she doing here?>>Assisting in my Cat war on crime. A crime fighter has to have a clean cave, you know.>>Time to go night-night, Mr. West.>>Never! Catman goes night-night when Catman pleases!>>NURSE: There he goes again.>>Does something seem wrong to you?>>Uh, besides the fact that Adam doesn’t want to go night-night?>>Yes! Something’s up with Vicky, and we’ve got to find out what!>>VICKY: Well, Mr. Mayor, I hope you’ll vote for me in the Miss Dimmsdale pageant.>>Vicky, you’ll get my vote as long as you earn it fair and square.>>I admire your honesty, just as I’m sure everyone else will admire these photos of you from the 1970s!>>Those clothes were in style back then!>>Tell it to the voters.>>Why is Vicky brown-nosing Adam West and blackmailing the mayor?>>Maybe it’s because Adam West and the mayor are judges in this year’s Miss Dimmsdale pageant!>>We have to stop her!>>Ah, come on. What’s the worst thing that could happen if Vicky was mayor for just one day? (Vicky cackling)>>9,998, 9,999, 10,000! (Laughing)>>An iron-fisted dictatorship! Weird. I expected a picnic.>>We can’t let that happen. I wish I was a judge at the Miss Dimmsdale pageant! Awesome! Come on. We got to make sure whoever wins the pageant wins it fair and square, and isn’t Vicky.>>It’s just a silly beauty pageant. What kind of an idiot would want to enter one, anyway?>>It’s always been my dream to win the Miss Dimmsdale beauty pageant fair and square, and this is my year. Look! My old swimsuit still fits!>>DAD: And so does mine.>>Hey-hey! Looking good, Turner.>>Dinkleberg!>>Aw, Dad, only women are allowed to enter the pageant.>>And that is an injustice which, as Miss Dimmsdale, I will fight to eliminate! Quick, to the Turnermobile!>>Your mom and dad really want to win that pageant.>>Well, at least they have a fair chance. Vicky can’t bribe me!>>VICKY: How about a threat? Vote for me or else!>>CATMAN: Not so fast, villain! (Screaming) You want to win that pageant? You have to win it fair and square.>>I’m with Crazy.>>That biography was unauthorized.>>You’ll never stop me. That money and power will be mine! (Grunting)>>This python crushing every fibre of my thing. Oh, hey. Well done, Sash Sidekick. We’ve exposed her scheme To the pageant!>>Uh, the pageant’s a week from now.>>Oh, well, then. I will see you in a week. Hey, Timmy, see you in three days. (Cheering)>>Welcome to the Miss Dimmsdale beauty pageant, where any one of these lovely ladies has a chance to win thousands of dollars in prizes and be mayor for a day! This is Chet Ubetcha saying judges, I don’t envy your task. So tell us, Mrs. Turner, why do you want to be Miss Dimmsdale?>>Because of all the wonderful things I’d be able to do if I was mayor for a day. (Cackling)>>Weird. I was expecting an underwater utopia. (Cheering and applause)>>Hey, this is theMissDimmsdale pageant.>>Well, that’s a mistake. I’m going out there to prove men can be just as beautiful as women, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!>>You know, we were chasing Adam West, but this guy is much crazier.>>I’m going to need a bigger needle. (Screaming)>>I got to make sure they vote for me by getting rid of all the other choices!>>Why do I want to be mayor? Well– (Screaming)>>Adam, Vicky’s eliminating our competition so we have to vote for her!>>Fear not, Junior Justice Buddy. I have a plan.>>This is your plan?>>It’s not really a plan; it’s more of a vague concept, if you will. (Squeaking)>>Hate to leave you hanging, Catman and Birdbrain, but I have a pageant to win– By cheating! So long, suckers!>>Don’t worry, Vicky. I’ve been in situations much worse than this.>>Great. So how do we get out of it?>>Any second, the director will yell “cut,” then a stagehand will let us down and get us coffee. I like mine with milk because I’m part cat.>>Where the heck are Cosmo and Wanda?>>Timmy’s in trouble. I can feel it! We should do something.>>Aah!>>Wow, being blackmailed sure is thirsty work. (Laughing)>>That tickles!>>It’s time now for the talent contest. (Gasping) (Screaming)>>Where is it written in this one-sided society that a man can’t be beautiful?>>Actually, right here. I thought you were the best.>>Hmm, could be worse. I could be dangling above a boiling pot of weenies.>>Don’t you have anything in that belt that can save us? Something that can absorb that foul-smelling liquid?>>That’s it, Sashed Wonder! Quick, just like that rat, use your big goofy teeth to gnaw through the second left-hand pouch on my belt!>>Ack! Pepper gas!>>Sorry, third to the left. Cats can’t count.>>Ugh! Cat litter! (Screaming) (Screaming) Quick, to the judges’ table!>>Hee-haw! (Audience cheering)>>Cool! We made it back before the final round. Now all I have to do is pick from the finalists.>>Finalist.>>What?>>And the winner is–>>TIMMY: Nobody! (Crowd gasping)>>What?>>She cheated! She doesn’t deserve to be Miss Dimmsdale.>>But she’s the only one left, so it looks like the cheating Vicky wins!>>Fork over the money and the keys to the city, Stubby. It’s not like there’s anybody else here in a dress.>>DAD: Guess again! Whoa-oa! (Cheering) (Stammering)>>Cat-tastic! She performed every phase of the pageant in one move! Can you get me her number?>>That’s no she; that’s my dad!>>So you have it, then.>>And the winner is– Timmy’s dad! (Cheering)>>No!>>May I borrow your needle?>>You should make it bigger.>>Uh, you’re all winners?>>Well, good night, son. Tomorrow I start my reign as “Miss-ter” Dimmsdale. Ow!>>Wow, your dad won!>>Vicky lost to a man–>>And she got beaten up by a bunch of jealous beauty pageant contestants.>>And best of all, Vicky won’t be mayor for a day!>>Yeah, and what’s the worst your dad could do as mayor? (Laughing diabolically)>>Keep working, Dinkleberg! And don’t forget to polish my statue. (Cackling)>>He’s not going to call you. Really. (Meowing) ♪>>Well, class, there’s only one minute left before school’s out. (Clock ticking)>>Ah, the light! I love the light.>>Which means it’s time for a pop quiz! Quick, how many seconds are there in a year?>>STUDENTS: Pick me!>>On Mars!>>Uh, uh–>>F!>>F’s for everybody! Ha-ha-ha!>>COSMO: The dark– it’s back! Ow, a paper cut! (Chattering)>>Is it me, or has Crocker gone crazy with pop quizzes?>>Pop quiz!>>That’s a yes.>>Quick, what is the daily recommended dosage of Vitamin B12? Too late! F! F’s for everyone! It’s an F-apalooza! All you can eat! F’s!>>COSMO: Wow, look at all the failure.>>TIMMY: F, F, Super F? Man, I’m so sick of all these pop quizzes! How can I stop Crocker from surprising me?>>You can’t. It’s not like you’re a mind-reader.>>If there were just some way you could know when he was going to pop a quiz, you could be ready for it.>>Like a mind-reader would.>>You’re right, Wanda. If I were ready for the quizzes every time and always got good grades, Crocker might give up on them!>>If only you could read minds.>>You know what might work? If I could read minds.>>That’s a great idea!>>Hey, why didn’t I think of that?>>I wish I had the power to read minds!>>Well, does it work?>>WANDA: (Thinking)What astupid question!Of course it works, you twit.That’s a great question, Cosmo. I love you.>>Cool, it works! Okay, Cosmo, let’s read your mind. (Piped version ofFairlyOddParentstheme playing) Elevator music?>>You can’t hear his thoughts because there’s nothing going on in there.>>Oh, yeah? Then what’s this rattling?>>Oh, my stuff! Cosmo’s empty head is such a convenient carrying case.>>This is going to be great! I never thought I’d say this, but I can’t wait for school tomorrow.>>CROCKER: Look up in the sky! Is it a D? Is it an E? No, it’s Super F!>>Good morning, Mr. Crocker.>>Hello, Turner.You poor, innocent sap who hasno clue I’m going to pop a quizon Botswana, the capital ofwhich is Gaborone.Maybe he’ll cry.That would be great!I could bottle his tears andsell them on the Internet.(Laughing) Amigos! Examen sorpresa, which is Spanish for pop quiz! What is the capital of Botswana? You! You! You.>>Gaborone.>>Wrong! It’s– I mean right– A?I don’t understand!How could I have failed?Where did I go wrong?Did I leave the curling ironon, and where will I find achild’s tears now?>>I got an A on a pop quiz!I’ll bet my friendsare thrilled for me.>>Lucky.>>Cheater.>>I hope nobody notices my boilhas a mind of its own.>>BOB:Silence, you fool.Wait– turn your head.Turn your head!>>Millard Fillmore, 13th President. Your mother called you Flippy. See ya!>>There’s only one way a student could be so totally prepared for my quizzes and know that my mother called me Flippy. He was given mind-reading powers by– Fairy godparents!>>Oh, how was–>>School? Awesome!>>Hey, you’re still reading–>>Minds? You bet. And best of all, Crocker hasn’t given a quiz in two days. This mind-reading wish works perfectly.>>Great, Timmy. So, are you ready to stop reading minds?Before you start using yourpowers to mess with yourfriends’ heads like a big,show-offy jerk?>>Oh, now, there’s a thought.>>Timmy, wait! Instead of messing around with your friends’ heads like a big, show-offy jerk, how about a nice picnic? Look, I packed a lunch.>>COSMO: It stays fresh ’cause my head is vacuum-sealed!(Fairly OddParentstheme playing) Cool! Dinner theatre.>>I hope he doesn’t say A5.>>A5.>>You fragged my frigate!>>That’s it, Turner. Flaunt your magically obtained mental powers on the weak and unsuspecting, but you’ll never again be able to read my mind once it’s encased in this convenient and portable Lead Line anti-mind-reading helmet! Aah! (Chattering)>>Hi, Trixie.>>Um, hello. Why is this loser talking to me?>>Oh, sure, she’s saying that,but let’s see if that’s how shereally feels.>>Why is this loser talkingto me?>>Why isn’t that losertalking to me?>>Why am I working for10-year-olds?Why didn’t I finish college?Hey, maybe I could beat theanswers out of this kid.(Timmy screaming)>>That’s it, Turner– So sure of yourself, so safe. But now that I have perfected my anti-mind-reading helmet, you will be helpless when I spring my completely secret trap and capture your– Fairy godparents! (Screaming) (Bell ringing) (Indistinct whispering)>>Hey, guys, what’s going on?>>Not a thing.>>We’ll see about that.>>I can’t wait for the surprisebirthday party for Timmyat 3:00.>>With lots of candy andsweets!>>BOB:Now take him down.>>No, I won’t listen! We got to go, Timmy. Bye.>>So that’s it– A surprise party for me!>>Timmy, something is very wrong.>>Yeah, it’s not your birthday. If it was, she’d have put a cake in my head.>>Guys, relax. I’ll meet you in the gym at 3:00. It’s perfectly safe. You guys can hide, and if anything goes wrong, you’ll be there for me.>>To make it better.>>Or worse. I don’t know which– I’m not a mind-reader. (Students murmuring)>>Gee, this strange note I found on my locker said to come to the gym at 3 p.m. I wonder what for.>>Surprise!>>CROCKER: Yes, Turner. Surprise! (Beeping) (Metal squeaking)>>Uh-oh.>>Guess what I’m thinking? Oh, that’s right– You can’t! Ha-ha!>>Hey, I’m reading my own mind!Ow! I read my own mind.>>Something wrong, Turner?>>Just a headache. I got to go.>>So soon? But we’re about to play a game, a thinking game. Kids, what’s your favourite colour? Think it real loud. Come on, kids, think, think!>>Purple!>>Green!(Various voices screaming out in Timmy’s mind) (Beeping)>>Aah! Too many thoughts!>>Favourite flavour of pie? Come on, scream it in your heads!>>Raspberry!>>Blueberry!>>BOB:Take-over-the-worldberry!>>CROCKER: Want the pain to stop, Turner? Then admit it. Admit that you have fairy godparents!>>Never! (Chattering continues in Timmy’s mind) Got to find Cosmo or Wanda and un-wish wish!>>Favourite candy?>>Chocolate!>>Suckers.>>Jelly beans!>>Can’t concentrate!>>Hey, it’s a new birthday dance.>>Come on, everybody, do it!>>Now, everybody pretend I’m giving a lecture and let your minds wander freely while I videotape Turner admitting he has fairies!>>Cosmo! Wanda! (Voices chattering in Timmy’s mind)Too much noise.Too many thoughts!If only I had a quiet placeto not think.(Fairly OddParentstheme playing)>>If you’re wondering why we’re basketballs, it’s a funny story.>>Not now! I wish I couldn’t read minds anymore. (Crickets chirring)Awesome.I can’t hear anyone’s thoughtsexcept my own.Cool.All right, I’ll admit it!>>Ha-ha!>>I’ll admit it’s not my birthday.>>Huh?>>Pop quiz! Who promised you candy if you’d all come to the gym and pretend it was my birthday?>>Crocker!>>Who doesn’t have candy?>>Crocker! (Stammering)>>Hey, you said there’d be candy!>>And brain food.>>And something to stop my boil from controlling my thoughts.>>Silence, you fool.>>And just for us, non-sugary products!>>Gah! (Screaming) A little help here?>>Hey, maybe the candy is in his piñata.>>Gah! (Students cheering) (Crocker shouting in pain)>>You’re thinking what I’m thinking?>>Nope, and that’s just the way it should be.>>Who would have thunk Cosmo’s empty-headedness would someday save us?>>Hey, who you calling empty-headed? I’m not empty-headed. Look, see? I’ve got candy– And Chip Skylark! Take it away, Chip. ♪ My sunny teeth that twinkle just like the stars in space ♪ Cool– dinner theatre! ♪ My sunny teeth that sparkle adding beauty to my face ♪ ♪ He’s got really shiny teeth ♪ ♪ My sunny teeth and me ♪ ♪