The Illusion of Identity Sometimes people say I’m not always conscious that I am this you see? Like, quite often, my attention goes and then I forget, that I am this. And it troubles them. They want to say: I want to be consciously conscious of who I am all the time. But when we say like this it’s almost as though we take on a task, a job to be conscious wich you’re not able to do. You see? The You who is doing this is not able to do it. So what I point out to you is like – what is your name? Rotem. Rotem? Your parents gave you this name? Yes. Rotem. Okay. So when this body appeared it didn’t come with the name “Rotem” on it. It had no name. And some people decided to offer name to this child, ok? Female child, female name, bum bum, name is offered. And for a while you don’t know this name – it means nothing to you, it’s just another sound in that infant state. The only time that that name began to register something was when the consciousness behind it could hold the impression of the name. You see? Yes, yes. The name gets somehow embedded in the consciousness and the consciousness adopted the name “I am Roshem”? Rotem. Rotem. Then, ok, then gradually associated “I am Rotem.” So before that, your name is “I”. Our name is I. You see? I did this, I, I, I. And then: “I am Rotem”. Now, so that name is not original to you. It came. And once you accepted this name it stayed with you – you are not anymore consciously remembering the name, any moment someone says “John” – you don’t… – “Rotem” – “ahh?” You see? How much time does it take you? And you’re not actively remembering. In the same way, you’re not actively remembering or forgetting who you are. It’s only because of the mind why we are saying this thing – that I forget who I am. But you are who you are even before remembering and forgetting come you are that. It’s completely gapless. And I just want to say this thing – maybe the mind tries to understand what it means – it doesn’t matter! I’m announcing it into your being. And something goes “Oh yes” – something knows this. And it will do it’s work. So there’s… OK, I hear.. and immediately it says “Then, what to do?” Yeah, “What to do” is the mantra of the mind. “What to do?” “What to do?” And so something… this understanding is settling by itself. Okay. It’s not the mind’s work to make it settle. Something inside of you is so powerful, it is so mighty it takes care of everything. It takes care of everything! But because you became unsure, somehow the seed of doubt came, then you forgot your power, and then we’re looking to the mind to take up the job – mind applied for the job – “I’ll do it!” Yes, yes. And so mind starts to do the job not well, it invents things and predicts and pretends and… It feels like obsession, actually. Ah? It has been feeling like obsessing, like obsession about this, how to find and how to.. Yes, yeah. And so you, the beingness, the consciousness, began to somehow give some – develop some further affection for the mind and also give over your authority a little bit. Yes. It’s very subtle, these things, and then we start to rely on our mind, it becomes your personal Google. For everything you’re going for… like this. But somehow something is changing something, a natural… retracing of the steps, coming back to your original being, the consciousness of your original being, which hasn’t moved to make the mind come in – it’s always just been there. It’s almost that the mind became a kind of eclipse and the attention went towards the cultivated being, the mind stuff. And in doing that, somehow you became unaware again, that’s like how it seems to work. I is synonymous with presence, it’s your intuitive self-knowing. When the consciousness is available, you appear as “I”. When the consciousness is not available, you’re the absolute. When the consciousness is available, you’re still the absolute. But you’re appearing through “I” as the witness of all the play of manifestation. That I and the absolute – they’re synonymous, they’re one. One is your dynamic expression, the other one is your inefferable reality, your being. And all of this you don’t have to really learn – I don’t encourage people learn, study, study, I don’t trust learning. But more recognizing. And direct experience. And confirming. And through this path of guidance you’re coming into natural insights that are taking place for you. And these insights make your seeing your own truth. You’ll understand them so deeply. Maybe you won’t be able to express what you’ve seen, not explain but the job is done. You can never anymore be living in habitual routine fear. Fear can come. Sadness can come. Anger can come, frustration can come. But they come and go just as quickly. Because they don’t have something to land upon. Because you’re home. You see? When we make mind and body only your home then we’re in a sort of fearful condition. Because you are time-bound. This is why everybody is in a hurry, trying to get as much live in, before you burn out. But you are the infinite and timeless being. And this knowledge, this conviction is going to come from inside you not from outside. It’s arising from inside you, from the source of your being and it enters into your conscious field because this is where our attention is. And it’s speaking to your attention in the conscious field to say “I am here, you’re home.” You see? So therefore you report that “I am watching all of these things”. And I ask you: Is it an active watching, meaning that – are you interested in, are you itemizing your seeing? Or is it just that sort of panomaric, effortless sort of casual seeing of the world? They are both. They are both. Very good. So even when there’s an active focusing on something it doesn’t leave the grand seeing. Even that focused seeing can happen inside the great seeing. Yes. And nothing is lost, you see? It’s just the natural functioning of consciousness. I see that. It just doesn’t feel like me. The identification does not sit there. Yes, yes. Identification doesn’t have to. Identification is only a phenomenon. You are watching that. Your identification is not steady, not steadfast, it’s constantly – it’s like a everchanging self-portrait, it’s always a work in progress. It has no fixed reality. You are the reality in whose presence even the idea, the identification is playing and changing. It’s not fixed, even in one short period it is affected by moods, also by time, by all of these things have an effect on how you experience dynamically. It’s not fixed. So don’t put to much importance in that. You’re the root, in whose presence all of this change is occuring and is being perceived, also spontaneously without effort it’s occuring. Such is the nature of the pure consciousness. And you’ll come to know “There’s nothing I need to do to be this.” There’s no step that needs to be taken really – imagined steps. The step is a step of understanding. And in this understanding I find myself as I’ve always been. I can’t say how I come to know this. But it’s deeper than me. I can’t write a thesis about it but I feel something inside is so clear.