Sometimes I wish I was even more awesome than
I already am. What would my life be like if I turned that
shit up to eleven (out of a possible five)? Riding straight out of your imagination
Using my magic to fight against crime Destroying evil with powers most awesome
Protecting the weak almost all of the time. But not on Sundays… Game of Thrones is on! Now is the time for a man of conviction
The world needs a hero, and I am that guy I am the Unicorn Wizard
Riding for justice on a comet of stars With the help of my sidekick Princess Handjob
I’m more awesome and smarter than I already are I am the Unicorn Wizard
My spells are amazing, and my reflexes quick My horn is my strength and my strength is
my power And my power is my horn and my horn is my
dick. Here’s your opportunity to stop listening
if this song got too amazing for you. No? OK. My life is a party, the guests are supermodels
Operation: I Rule is a total success Each day I invent a new form of karate
That changes the way that Japan views the West Now’s that’s progress! Doitashi Mashitay! Then we retire to the Chamber of Passion
And bathe in pool of strawberries and cream The strawberries rub and exfoliate gently
The cream travels places you can’t even dream I am the Unicorn Wizard
Just like Danny Sexbang, I’m handsome and strong
With the help of my hellhounds Tinkles and Gary
We punish the wicked then break into song I am the Unicorn Wizard
A superhero for the entire human race My wand casts a spell that will unlock the
door And the wand is my junk and the door is your
face