By: Freddie Yeah, I typed these up. Last mag! We gotta move! Exit’s blocked! They’re coming up! Where’s BrianD!? How’s the long way home, BrianD? Sweaty enough for you?
– Can we do this later, K-Pop? I’m late for a clan match! This FPS twitcher thinks he’s gonna be the next Law! What do you guys want, already? Same thing every real-time strategenius wants… Resources. Our next guest was PwnZwn’s Amateur Player of the Year… and PetiteElite’s “Hunkiest Teen Gamer of the Decade.” He’s also Varsity FPS captain at Video Game High School… and sorry ladies. He’s taken. Hold onto your rumble packs, ’cause here comes The Law! There he is! Law ready for this? So, uh… Who wants to see a trickshot demo? Oh, I do! She does. It took me three weeks to grind for that stuff! And it took me three seconds. I guess that’s what you’d call, uh… Strategy. GG BrianD. See you tomorrow. Yeah! See you tomorrow… Forever! Hey mom school was great! Love you, bye! Can I touch them…?
– Yeah you can touch both of them! Sorry I’m late. Glad you could join us, cap! Alright let’s go! On me! Did you guys see that? That was insane! Dude I… Thanks man! So you told me backstage that this is what’s called a “pubstomp?” What else happened backstage, Bella? Anyway, girls… “Pubstomping” is when a pro like me… goes into a random server and lays down the, uh… Let me hear you out there! Long arm of the Law! Long arm of the Law! I love this crowd. Left flank… Occam’s Laser on three? Just like the Milwaukee Invitational. Let’s go. Get ready to rush the point… Brian! Take the cat out! First I gotta put the cat out! It’s like every time! Cheeto… Cheeto! Cheeto… Chee-to! Cheeto…. Cheeto… What are you guys doing? AFK.
– Cheeeee-to! Here kitty kitty
– Oh my God. Guys… We need a new captain. Yeah… looks like we got ourselves a server… Why did we just restack? THE LAW HAS ENTERED. THE GAME. Alright guys – nobody panic! Got him. So much power. So much power everytime! Got him, aw God. Run! Chee-to… Come here Cheeto! Cheeto!! Incredible, right? I still feel that rush all the time. Oh my gosh… One time I took out an entire family with that move. Cheeto! Cheeto… Cheeto… good kitty… Cheeto… Augh! Ow! Stupid cat! That one got ’em good. Ah! Looks like this guy’s AFK! “Away from keyboard.” Let’s see if we can have some fun with him. Yeah… Mom! Where’s the iodine? Whatever, kid. Okay…! Close one! Hot… Hot! So what was that move called? You know what? It’s not really a move… I got– I got… I got… Killed. You know, it’s a pubstomp – anything can happen… Who was that guy? Right? Who was that guy? So, uh… Alright I guess, uh… Commercial break or something like that? – Law Killer, Law Killer
– BrianD you king! And yet the President’s condition is still unknown at this time… A nation waits with… Frag Alert! Hold onto your joysticks, zoners! We got ourselves a late-breaking PwnZwn Frag Alert! ShotBot? What’cha got? VGHS superstar The Law humiliated… live on national television by a no-name nooblet… by a no-name nooblet… in a pubstomp gone wrong! My computation? Frag of the century! Peep the replay! Our sources tell us that unranked player BrianD… has already been invited to attend the prestigious and exclusive… Video Game High School, a school whose students go on… to make millions in the pros. Yeah that’s right we were TOTALLY with Brian when he got the call for VGHS! We love you BrianD!
– Yeah! Brian! Give me a break! What makes this flash-in-the-pan fluker think he’s got what it takes? What makes this flash-in-the-pan fluker think he’s got what it takes?
– Ron… Ron! I completely agree, Ron! VGHS is the most intense pro-gaming academy in the country! VGHS is the most intense pro-gaming academy in the country!
– Guys, guys, guys! Can I just agree with you for one second? Can I just agree with you for one second?
– Your agreement’s been noted! Fellas, fellas, fellas! Please! Let’s just… let’s look at their acceptance video, okay? You will not study physics. You will study physics engines. You will not study art. You will study the art of war! You will learn about biology… by bathing in the blood of your enemies! Sound good? Well welcome to VGHS. – You have been accepted This is actually happening… Everyone says I won’t make it, but… I have to try, I mean… I’ve dreamed of playing on a VGHS team since I was E for Everyone. I hope you understand… Classic Cheeto. I’m gonna miss this back and forth. Take care of mom… okay? Brian? Reporters are here. Let’s get you miced up. Love you mom. I put some extra food in your bowl. Where are you going? I’m going to VGHS. – Brian! Brian! – Brian! Brian!
– What do you say to your fans, Brian�